There. I said it.
I’ve had a few readers complain that the last few books were lighter on the sex than they were expecting so I decided to give those old horndogs something extra naughty this time. I love anonymous sex. There. I said it. It’s a little like being Cinderella, if you’re really good at fooling yourself. Think of it like a dance with a stranger who thinks you’re a princess. It’s just enough magic for one night and you only need the darkness of a hotel room or the backseat of a car to make it happen. You can take the metaphor even further if you’ve got poppers or a party drug to play your fairy godmother. Or a few extra footmen, if you’re really serious about being a princess.
Which brings us to Ellis Harper and his shot in the dark. I wanted to have fun with anonymous sex and see how messy I could make it so I asked myself when would be the worst time to open a hookup app and get brave. A room full of men you can’t have seemed like the best-case scenario, for our purposes. So, I took Ellis to a wedding and figured out how to raise the Disaster Factor without making him a cheater or a jerk.
I regret to inform you, dear Reader, that Ellis’s best friend Alli has gotten them into a spot of trouble. She’s pregnant and the father is a cheater and a jerk so she may have given everyone the impression that Ellis is the father in order to save herself from a weekend of lectures and dire predictions. What could possibly go wrong?
**WARNING! Adult language and content ahead! Be an ADULT who enjoys adults doing very adult things. WARNING!**
If Ellis had to guess, he was just one of a handful of men in the hotel’s bar impatiently biding their time until they could find a safe place to check their phones. He glanced at the men’s room and snorted harder as three men pushed through the crowd, in their haste to “relieve” themselves. “You’re overthinking it, guys,” he said then swiveled his stool so his back was to the wall, so no one could see over this shoulder, and pulled out his phone. He found his texts and opened the last one from Alli.
This reception just got a lot more interesting. Someone here is cruising on Grindr…
See what you can find out. I’m on my way.
I’m in the bar. I’ll take a look and meet you by the fruit trays in ten minutes.
“Can I get you anything, sir?” The bartender asked and Ellis shook his head then stopped when he thought of Alli.
“Just a bottle of water, please,” he said then turned his attention back to his phone. He looked like he was still texting, if anyone was watching him. He opened Grindr and found a collage full of mostly picture-less profiles but his eyes caught on wide, hard pecs, nicely defined abs and Adonis belt, and a tempting trail of dark hair that pulled Ellis’s attention to a pair of straining grey boxer briefs. “Holy shit,” Ellis breathed.
“Here’s that water,” the bartender said and Ellis opened the bottle and took his eyes off his phone just long enough to make sure he didn’t miss his mouth. He took several loud gulps then gasped loudly.
“I’m going to need another, please,” Ellis called then swore as he looked at his phone. “How dare he look like the man of my dreams and be at this wedding?” He hissed angrily. There was no age but Ellis could tell by the posture, body hair and general…solidness, that Discreetly Yours definitely wasn’t younger. He had a thing for older men and Ellis’s instincts told him he was looking at someone in his ideal range of mid-forties to mid-sixties. The face was obscured by a grinning purple devil emoji, so Ellis had absolutely nothing else to go on. “It’s my favorite emoji too,” Ellis pouted. The bartender returned with another bottle of water for Alli and Ellis thanked him and left a tip before heading for the rendezvous point.
“There you are!” She said and he offered her a glum nod.
“Here I am,” he agreed then pushed the bottle at her. “Drink this and eat something, you’ve been on your feet all day,” he said and she took a quick drink then pointed the bottle at him.
“What’s wrong? You recognized him and it’s someone bad?” She guessed and Ellis shook his head.
“No. He’s perfect but I’m afraid I’ll recognize him and he’ll be someone bad,” he said and she hissed.
“How perfect? Let me see,” she ordered and gestured impatiently. They often browsed Grindr when they were bored and he usually asked for her opinion and approval, when he did use it to get laid.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, if making a smart decision is the goal, here,” Ellis mused but Alli pulled a face then shoved her hand into his pocket.
“Quit stalling! Aside from our happy little scandal, this reception has been way too dull,” she said then cheered as she pulled out his phone.
“Speak for yourself. It’s been a circus for me. I’m going to be a father, Jamie hit on me, Colin’s a mess, and I’ve just discovered that someone in your family is bi or gay and the man of my dreams,” he complained and Alli’s jaw dropped.
“Leave Colin to me. Get out about Jamie, though!” She whispered loudly and Ellis rolled his eyes.
“Why are all the men in your family so hot? All of them,” he said and her brows jumped.
“Even Large Gerry?” She said and Ellis nodded. There were three Geralds among the Landrys and their spouses. Short Gerry, old Gerry and Large Gerry.
“Even Large Gerry. He’s large and in charge. I like when big men carry themselves like they’re in charge,” Ellis said and she made a thoughtful sound as she considered.
“I could definitely see that. He’s got that Landry swagger,” she murmured as she swiped at the phone then grabbed Ellis’s sleeve. “This definitely isn’t Large Gerry. Oh! I think he noticed you!” She whispered giddily and swiped again.
“Stop!” Ellis hissed as he snatched the phone from her but it was too late. “What did you doooo?!” He bit his knuckle to keep from screaming and throwing his phone. She tapped Discreetly Yours back with the purple devil emoji —indicating that Ellis just wanted to fuck— and was typing a message.
“I see you kept the name,” Alli said then laughed maniacally as she pointed. Ellis’s eyes dropped to his phone and the color drained from his face. He hadn’t opened, let alone used Grindr, in…months. He fell into a regular thing with a guy from his yoga class for a few months but that ended last fall and Ellis couldn’t remember how long it was since his last hook-up, before Yoga Matt. It could have been over a year-and-a-half ago, but about three months earlier, Alli had dared Ellis to change his profile name on Grindr from the much more fitting “Mr. Perfectly Adequate” to “The Cumback Kid.” It was after Margaret’s birthday party. They were drunk and snuck off to smoke a joint and Alli decided Ellis needed something more confident that implied he would be unforgettable and that he was also a fan of raunchy but safe sex.
“This baby is going to be the Doom of Man,” Ellis muttered.
“I sure hope so. Type something! He’s waiting!” She said with several hard pokes.
“Fuck!” Ellis spat and pushed his brain to do something. Anything, really.
The Cumback Kid
So… Come here often?
“Clever. Acknowledge the elephant in the room and see if he gives us any clues,” Alli said and Ellis shook his head.
“I am giving zero consideration to his identity. The only out gay men at this wedding are married and maybe Jamie. I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble. Especially myself,” he informed her then wrinkled his nose as he looked around. “Hurry up and make a plate so we can move.” They piled a plate with fruit, little pastries and cheese then relocated to an abandoned table on the other side of the room, farthest from the dance floor. “Hopefully, he’ll find someone more interesting and move on,” he said as he got Alli’s chair then pulled his close to hers and sat. She leaned against him as he checked his phone and he groaned as a response posted.
“Eeek!” Alli squealed and Ellis gave her a disgusted look then read the message.
Cute. Are you stuck at this reception too?
“Uh oh…” Ellis shook his head. He wasn’t giving himself away like that.
The Cumback Kid
“Smart. Figure out who he is first,” Alli said. Ellis shook his head even harder.
“Trust me. Neither of us wants to know if one of your uncles or cousins is lurking on Grindr. What do you do with that kind of knowledge?” He explained and she winced. “Exactly,” Ellis said and they both lowered their heads when another reply popped up.
I get it. I am so mad at myself for not turning off the notifications.
“Awww… It’s cute when guys are clumsy with technology,” Alli said and Ellis hummed in agreement.
“It shows they’ve got too much going on to waste a lot of time on their phones.”
The Cumback Kid
If it helps, I think only a few of us noticed but the other guys are still too scared to check.
“That’s nice. Some people are so quick to make fun of others for their little fumbles. It’s such a turn-off,” Alli murmured and Ellis nodded.
“I can’t get into guys who have to be right and like to laugh when other people make mistakes.”
Cute and brave. Your picture’s really hot.
Alli whistled loudly as Ellis turned off the app and set his phone on the table. They were quiet for several moments before Ellis shook his head.
“Now look at what we’ve done,” he complained.
“Normally, we’d be celebrating and warming up the clippers,” Alli noted and her nose wrinkled. “Just for the sake of ‘What if…’ are you appropriately shaved and ready, in case the opportunity should present itself?” She asked and gestured airily. Ellis sat back and crossed his ankles and his arms over his chest then snorted.
“I’m wearing a tux and I knew I’d drink until my face fell off tonight. I haven’t had anything with dairy or meat in the last forty-eight hours and I ate a fistful of fiber supplements every morning this week. I had big plans but I imagined I’d be falling in love with one of the waitstaff for the weekend,” he explained then sneered at his phone. “I would never get this far with a man like that if I wasn’t surrounded by men I can’t have sex with.”
“Nonsense but it does seem like fate is having a bit of a laugh tonight,” Alli said as she tapped her chin then jumped. “I think you should go for it. I’m going to look for Addi. My feet hurt and she’s got cute flats in her bag.”
“Go. You’ve already caused me enough trouble tonight,” Ellis said as he shooed her off then offered his cheek.
“Try to get into some trouble. I’ll check on you in a bit,” she said and kissed him loudly.
Boy, does he, Reader. Ellis isn’t able to help himself and one text leads to another and this happens:
I’m getting a room and I’ll send the number once I’m ready. I’ll keep the lights off and if you’re feeling really brave, you can join me. I don’t want to know who you are and I’ll trust you to respect my privacy. I just want to fuck you, thoroughly and completely. I’ll have condoms.
“If you’re feeling brave?” Alli said then looked at him. “That’s got to be a sign. You have to do this.” She gave Ellis’s shoulders a shake and he nodded but there wasn’t a lot happening inside his skull. There was a lot happening in his pants. His body definitely wanted him to do it. And his heart was telling him that he needed to get fucked, thoroughly and completely. He’d been under an intense amount of stress at work and Ellis skipped dinner with his parents because they were being especially persistent about his plans for the future. Now, he was facing the daunting prospect of fatherhood and a long weekend with Alli’s family.
“I have to do this,” Ellis agreed. Alli’s hand clapped over her mouth to smother a shriek and Ellis grimaced as he looked at the door. “I did promise to take care of you tonight,” he recalled then grunted when she gave his arm a hard shove.
“I have cake and two plates of food in the fridge. I can call housekeeping if there’s anything I don’t have and I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself for a night. Go, be brave and do crazy, filthy things,” she said then rose on her toes and kissed his cheek.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this!” He whispered as he typed then bit back a scream as he hit Send.
The Cumback Kid
Give me an hour.
“I have to take a shower; my boxers are already soaked.”
Which brings us to this:
“Wow. All the usual anxiety of an anonymous hookup plus the possibility of personal and social catastrophe. What could possibly go wrong?” Ellis asked himself as the elevator doors shut then pushed the button. It was a short ride and the doors opened a moment later. He glanced at the hall guide then checked to make sure it was clear then cautiously made his way to room 142. His eyes jumped from room number to room number and he slowed as he approached a junior suite at the end of the hall. The door was cracked and the room was dark. Ellis swallowed loudly then pushed out a hard breath as he reached for the handle. He blocked his face with his other hand as he eased it open. He leaned so he could peek around the door but he could only make out the bed and a chair as he waited for his eyes to adjust.
“I’m over here,” a voice whispered and Ellis followed it to a tall, dark figure leaning against the dresser. Is that Jamie? Ellis wondered. He couldn’t tell by the whisper and Discreet’s head was down. All Ellis could see was that he was shirtless and appeared to be drinking a cocktail. He also appeared to be alone so Ellis slid into the room and shut the door. It was too dark for Discreet to make out more than his shadow so Ellis lowered his hand and edged a little closer to the bed. He was still turned on but Ellis didn’t know who was supposed to make the first move if the top got the room. Was he supposed to just get on the bed? A lot of “straight” guys liked to get straight to it. Married men also liked to hit and run. Not that Ellis knew that much about the few men he met on Grindr or what Discreet was into, his profile was light on details. Probably for a reason, Ellis reminded himself then jumped when the ice cubes in Discreet’s glass clinked as he drank.
“Right! I’ll just get naked and get on the bed?” Ellis said quietly and his hands trembled as he fumbled with his belt buckle.
“Wait. Come here,” Discreet whispered but it was deep and there was an alluring command to his tone that sent a shiver down Ellis’s spine. His feet carried him across the room and Ellis’s heartbeat became a maddening throb at the smell of scotch and his cologne. “Let’s see if this is going to work, first,” Discreet murmured before his hand curved around Ellis’s jaw and he was pulled close.
“Ok,” he said softly then braced his hands on Discreet’s chest as their lips touched. His breath tasted like scotch and his lips were firm and warm and Ellis moaned as he leaned into Discreet. Fingers pushed through Ellis’s hair and heat burst under his skin as their tongues swirled. They became bolder and hungrier and Ellis went limp as Discreet’s hand locked around his ass. Discreet angled his head, taking the kiss deeper as their hard-ons were crushed then bucked against Ellis. It was frantic and euphoric as they became wild with lust. Most importantly, Ellis had no clue who Discreet was. “It’s working!” Ellis gasped breathlessly. He swallowed a moan as Discreet sucked on his chin then dragged his teeth along Ellis’s jaw and found his ear.
“It’s definitely working,” he panted. Ellis nodded and attacked the buttons on his shirt then moved his hands out of the way when Discreet ripped it open. Buttons pattered onto the floor and Discreet hissed but it didn’t sound very sincere. There was a drowsy rumble as his lips dragged over Ellis’s skin. “Sorry. I need to touch you,” he murmured then groaned as his hands slid beneath Ellis’s shirt and around his chest.
“Fuck it. I have lots of shirts,” he said as he shook his arm free and flung it at the door.
“You feel perfect. Tell me what you want,” Discreet purred in the dark before his tongue washed up Ellis’s neck, destroying what was left of his inhibitions.
“This!” Ellis said as he gripped the hard-on straining against the front of Discreet’s trousers. His self-respect was gone as well, Ellis noted, as he lowered to his knees. He rubbed his face against the bulge and Discreet swore as his hands swept through Ellis’s hair.
“Jesus, Kid, you’re killing me.” It was a strangled whisper and Ellis felt an intoxicating swell of desire and power as he gave Discreet’s trousers and boxer briefs a swift tug.
Ellis would have dropped his pants and hugged his knees and allowed Discreet to take whatever he wanted. It would still be hot but knowing Discreet gave Ellis the reins when he was clearly used to being in command was exhilarating. Discreet’s power and pride were as obvious to Ellis as the beat of his own heart and the desire coursing through his veins. But Discreet was ready to play with fire and was waiting for Ellis to light the match. Ellis prayed he wouldn’t get burned then jumped into the flames. His hands spread as they pushed up Discreet’s thighs then wrapped around this thick length. He pushed his nose and lips into Discreet’s sack and Ellis was rewarded with a gasp as the fingers in his hair twisted. Discreet’s balls were smooth and heavy and Ellis made a delighted sound as he lapped and sucked. Ellis’s vision was limited to outlines and shapes in the dark so he shut his eyes and wallowed in the clean, crisp taste of Discreet’s warm, aroused flesh and his tortured whispers. The air filled with Discreet’s strangled pleas and curses as Ellis’s tongue lashed at his shaft greedily. He teased the slit and Ellis moaned as pre-cum burst on his tongue. Ellis swallowed the head and his lips burned as they stretched around Discreet’s shaft. “Holy fucking…!” Discreet whimpered as his hand slapped onto the dresser behind him and Ellis could hear his fingertips clawing at the wood. He tasted like heaven but Ellis wanted Discreet to let go. Burn with me.
“I came to get thoroughly and completely fucked,” Ellis whispered silkily as his lips teased the end of Discreet’s cock.
“Goddamn it!” Discreet growled as Ellis was pulled to his feet then thrown onto the bed. Discreet’s hands and lips were everywhere as they writhed and kicked out of their clothes until they were slick, naked and tangled. “You taste so fucking perfect!” Discreet said as he slid lower and bright bursts of color filled Ellis’s vision as he blinked at the ceiling. Discreet was ruthless as he sucked, licked and stroked. He bathed Ellis’s cock in lush, scorching heat then stole his breath as Discreet’s tongue swept beneath his sack and washed over his hole. “Fuck!” Discreet hissed then held Ellis open and angled his face so he could gorge himself. He sucked and his tongue thrust and probed as his fingers pushed into the tight ring of Ellis’s ass. Discreet fingered him slow and deep, stretching and twisting as Ellis arched and moaned deliriously.
“Please!” Ellis urged. He clutched the duvet and his feet kicked and his toes curled as he fought off the driving pleasure building in his groin. Ellis whimpered in relief and pushed out a shaking breath as Discreet climbed up his body. Then, he laughed in surprise when Discreet crashed into his lips and kissed him. He was tender but possessive as his hand curved around Ellis’s jaw and he groaned.
“I’m going to dream about drowning in your lips and your ass,” Discreet complained and Ellis swore in frustration as he grabbed his face and kissed him hard.
“Do not make me fall in love with you. This is already a mistake.” There was a ragged chuckle as Discreet’s arm stretched for the nightstand.
“I don’t think I have a choice,” he teased but a tremor passed between them, as if they felt the same sense of foreboding. His lips hovered over Ellis’s, as if he was pausing and having second thoughts.
“Don’t think,” Ellis suggested. His fingers trailed down wide, flat, hair-dusted pecs then over the hard ridges of Discreet’s abs and around his side. Ellis moaned as his hand spread around the tight globe of Discreet’s ass and he bucked impatiently beneath him. “You’ll never know you fucked me and I’ll never know it was you.”
“What if we can’t forget?” Discreet huffed against Ellis’s lips. He kissed Ellis before he rose and rested on his elbow. There was a weak glint of foil in the dark and the sound of a wrapper ripping. Discreet quickly stretched a condom over his length and Ellis might have fallen in love when he heard the clicking of a cap before slick fingers traced his passage.
“So thoughtful,” Ellis observed and there was a soft snort.
“We’re going to need it,” he warned then forced the air from Ellis’s lungs as he filled him with hard, steady heat.
Who’s Discreet and what happens when a weekend fling with a mysterious stranger turns into a habit Ellis can’t quit?
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